NO MAKEUP MAKEUP

My lord and savior Dolly Parton once famously said of her grooming , “it costs a lot of money to look this cheap.” I belong to a different sect. Whenever someone drops the phrase “effortless style'‘, I think, “it takes a lot of effort to look effortless”. Except for me, when it comes to makeup, I really can barely lift a finger. You’ll never catch me hotdogging with a smokey eye. Nor flexing with a bold red lip. Nor stunting with some lash extensions. I just don’t have the facial features for makeup more advanced than filled-in brows. Nor the skills to apply even eyeliner. Nor the time to invest. Above all, I have no desire to guild this lily. I have plenty of cringey 2010’s photos of me in mint eyeshadow, Lady Danger lipstick, and orange eyeliner to prove why. Even after dark, it’s the same no-makeupey-makeup for me. All day everyday.

I haven’t timed my makeup application routine, but I bet I come in at under 5 minutes. (Not counting my skincare routine, which is paramount and tended to religiously.) Keep reading for a rundown of products I’ve honed it down to over the years, and how I use them.

I recently had the opportunity to sample Merit makeup and immediately became a devotee and repeat customer of their concealer stick called The Minimalist which blends flawlessly with their No 1 Brush. (I used Sephora’s Shade Finder to cross reference the shade of my previous concealer to identify my peachy beige match in Merit.)

I can save a step when I use Noto’s Multi Bene Stain Stick in FIVE for both lip and cheek. If it is going to take longer to go dig my Noto stick out of my purse, I use Merit Flush Balm cheek color and Glossier Leo lipstick, which are always handy in my bathroom cabinet. (I have a 10% off discount code for all NOTO products which I am happy to share with you. It’s SISSY10).

For a nice natural looking dewy glow and some bonus aromatherapy, I spritz my face lightly with Noto Basil Yarrow Mist. (Why must I hear Patrick Bateman’s morning routine voice in my head when I proofread this part?!). Then I finish with brows and lashes. Again very natural. My husband doesn’t like my brows filled in too much and I don’t want to embarrass or repulse the guy, so I use the clear Boy Brow from Glossier. But since I am pretty certain he’ll stick around through thick or thin (har har) I occasionally groom them with a light brown from Glossier or Anastasia.

I feel weird as a Gen X’er shopping at super Gen Z Glossier where I’m always twice the age of the customers in there, but I really like the product, especially the mascara. All other mascaras end up smudging under my eyes and it looks terrible. Lash Slick is literally the only mascara that doesn’t irritate my eyes, never smudges, and doesn’t look clumpy or tacky. With Lash Slick , my lashes looks the most like natural long dark lush pretty lashes.

Voila! Face is done lickety split. Now I can spend more time trying on 12 different outfit combos before I step out of the door.

Under this minimal makeup is a serum, an spf, a botanical oil, and a topical vitamin applied along with several minutes of lymphatic drainage massage. I’ll save that list for another Sort. For now, click on the images below to shop my no makeup makeup essentials.

But first, one more Dolly quote: “Find out who you are. And do it on purpose.”